4:39 PM

Bloody Therapy

And the point of therapy is?

Today I had a special little appointment with a rather special little old lady. When she came out to greet me I thought that she was a patient with her missing teeth, apprehensive ways, and lack of decent clothing. - don't these people get paid enough?! Throughout the appointment I noticed Coleen, as she called herself, trying to compose herself with appropriate posture and linguistics and found that I seemed more the counselor than she. I babbled a lot and received nothing in the end. Of course, I know, baby steps, right?!? Well God damned, I'm glad that I didn't pay for that appointment and I'm beginning to wonder why the Government doesn't offer funds to my friends that hear the same shit- and actually help me out!

So, I've booked another appointment dated two weeks from now. .... what if I were suicidal? I'm sure that one hour of babbling my mind out and two weeks time to stew on the bullshit I didn't even realized bothered me is enough time to map the perfect suicide scheme. Oh how I love art; maybe I will set my 10 second timer to catch that beautifully chaotic image of my naked body in a cold ceramic tub filled not with water but blood thrusting from my small wrists. DeviantArt, here I come! (edit: for those of you who don't get it ... this is a fabrication. I am not suicidal. Is it a pink or blue stick that you have shoved up your behind?)

I know, baby steps, right?!? So rather than go all out with the wrist slashing I baby stepped with a nose piercing. Yes I did it! About three days ago I braved the needle in the nose. I love piercings and even more so getting them myself however the nose is one that I have feared for some time and for good reason. I didn't handle it well. As the blood poured I thought to myself, 'what is that warm feeli..... aw shit, I'm bleeding. Don't think about it, don't think about it'. Then Mr.Piercer considerately informed me 'oh, you are bleeding a little, let me clean that up'. --- NO! Don't tell me! Just clean the damned thing!

Now it doesn't hurt much more than a hard ear zit would unlike my other piercings that didn't hurt at the needle though stung like a mother after the fact. I will never take this thing out of my nose because I will never pierced my nose again!

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