9:02 PM

Too young to be old.

The fragments of my age, however still fairly young, are shifting and binding.

Upon discovery of my daughter on the floor entangled in one of her toys (doll's high chair) with her diaper half off and a clump of feces held up clenched in her right hand like a grenade I preceded a beautiful day tangled in defeats threatening vines.

And to the bath she went.

After towel drying my, now clean, daughter I attempted to pick her up but while doing so I was suddenly introduced to a sharp vexatious pain in my lower back. I could not move, I couldn't see properly and what I could see was as bright as the beautiful day less the beautiful. I propped myself on the bathroom sink and would have thanked god that my cell phone was right there if I believed in god. I took a moment to look at my nekked daughter, pierce my lips and say out loud, "this isn't happening, this is not happening. What do I do, what do I do?."

So I took my phone and gestured my daughter to follow me into the living room before she realized I would be unable to keep her from playing with and tasting the toilet water. The pain shook my vision as I moved my body to the too soft sofa. I decided not to make any phone calls and waited a few minutes for the alarming pain to subside.

My curious daughter, thankfully well behaved, told me she was, "hungi, hungi" with a nekked shiver. I couldn't move. Having realized that the pain was not going anywhere fast I began mass texting and calling everyone that I felt could care for my girl while I recovered. I received one response being from my Father who jogged the 30 minute walk from his home. My Father never jogs.

After about an hour of dragging myself around with an end table I was finally able to walk however uncomfortably.

My back is shot. This all occurred yesterday morning and it's now 12am the next night. I've taken a prescribed perk which, rather than alleviate the pain, it is causing me tiredness, slight nausea, and difficulty reading as I currently write.

I have a 2yr old, I must heal now. I have to go to work, I must heal now. I have to clean my home, I must heal now.

I am 29 years old. Am I not a considerable margin from falling apart?


deezee said...

(thanks for stopping by...)

Oh, this dreaded back pain, and to try to care for a toddler at the same time. I simply can't imagine. Here's to sending you on the mend.